Friday, January 23, 2009

A Deathday Anniversary

Incense churned the nausea wild
White and gray swam all around
Some tears swelled up, burst away;
Others bridled into stifling silence.
They strangled me with pity,
With ropes of sodden love
I sat like a fleshy pillow
Listening to chants and sobs.
It meant that Horlicks was to come
With the smoke of tuberose air;
The white garlands still lay alone,
I held an empty stare.

The portrait is the same today
Incense sprinkling sandalwood
Fussy people, futile ceremony.
My misfit hand forced closed to pray
Peace to a long dead father’s soul!!
The comedy tempts forbidden smiles
In me. I strain to be deeply sorry-
The past that I had for long
Thrown with dirty sanitary pads
Is brought back to me by those
Filled with inane grief and pain.
I don’t know what they gain
Stranding me amidst discomforts.

Fate never mocked me so much as
This winter day does every year.
The feeling is strange but rituals have
Ceased choking me with sympathy.
The garlands dropped from many to one
Sandalwood still nauseates me-
Yet I try to pass the day
Away, rapt with wretched sanity.


  1. wel...i think i shud comment on the writing specifically.......

    ur creative vigour is soaring high.........

    just keep moving...

  2. Life it seems, will fade away
    Drifting further every day
    Getting lost within myself
    Nothing matters no one else
    I have lost the will to live
    Simply nothing more to give
    There is nothing more for me
    Need the end to set me free

    Things are not what they used to be
    Missing one inside of me
    Deathly lost, this can't be real
    Cannot stand this hell I feel
    Emptiness is filing me
    To the point of agony
    Growing darkness taking dawn
    I was me, but now He's gone

    No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
    Now I can't think, think why I should even try
    Yesterday seems as though it never existed
    Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

    good byeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiaaaaaahhhhgggg...
    2day we celebrated death @ rajpath...

  3. Not going to say anything here. Just going to give you a *very tight HUG*
    I admire your strength. I really do. Onekdin por ekta post pore chokhe jol eshe gelo re.
    Much love.

  4. @poushali: thanx onece again.

    @Srijit: what has it got to do with my post by the way?

    @Zephyr: the strengh does not lie so much in fighting difficulties as in supressing irresistable sniggers my dear...

  5. iv nevr read anythng s appropriate s dis1
    hard-hittn, blatant, outrite
    applauses 4d words, more 4d feelin expressd
    best, k

  6. srijit wht u wrote is the metallica song 'fade to black'